Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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