It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
