Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
