dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize