We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
