He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
