I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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