it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
