Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
