You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
