i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
