carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
