So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
