I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
