Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we're so committed to being not committed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
