It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
