He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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