You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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