careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
