He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
handjob tips. give me some.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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