found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
