a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
