I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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