you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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