Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
