I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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