shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
