Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
