He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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