More tranny stories later!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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