I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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