guys are not supposed to queef...right?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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