At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
