i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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