are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
