you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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