i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
