have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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