and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
