I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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