I'm going to jail i love you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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