he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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