Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
