it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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