I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
