I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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