My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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