So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
