they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
