Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
