ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
