tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
