u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Two words: blizzard sex
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
