Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
