1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
