Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
