There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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