The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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