my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
