Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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