West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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