girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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