shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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