The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize