What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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